There's a lot. I'm unwinding.

To be honest, I have been avoiding blogging. I had a lot of things that I didn't want to spill out. So I waited until some yuletide excitement smothered them. And then I was just busy... So here we are. It's feels good to be back... here... typing away. I don't really know where to begin. So this could be choppy. Buckle in.

I've always thought of New Year's Resolutions to be much like the forgotten video rental. (I still need to return those movies I got with Brett... SEE!!) But a part of me wants to have a few New Year's Resolutions. It won't hurt anyone right? So here are a few things I will forget to do in about March

• I will try to stop worrying so much. I am FINE. Freaked out, Insecure, Nuerotic, and Emotional. (Name that movie!) I am easily freaked out whether by a scary preview at the movies or belated phone calls. I am very insecure in several different categories that I don't really want to go into right now. I am neurotic... (this is stretched but it works for me) with nerve damage from the surgery. (I like the way that sounds. The surgery. THE surgery.) I am very emotional. I wish I could blame anesthesia and pain pills but I can't. I CAN however blame it on lack of mobility and sunlight. Crutches, big black boot, I really don't like you. I can't get out to the gym or carry things or move quickly. The warnings on an air mattress included being careful with infants or persons with limited mobility because they could be entrapped between the wall and the air mattress. I took a risk and slept on an air mattress. I slept well. No entrapping here. Several different contributing factors have turned me into an emotional person. It's the weird, awkward emotional though. The crying, feeling terrible for every bad thing you ever done, lazy, slouchy, sweat pant/ hoodie wearing, pony tail, coke, chocolate, spoonfuls of nuetella, feeling like there is nothing unhealthy about medically induced comas but will settle for taking sleeping pills that don't quite throw you back into reality until noon when half the day is over then piling your Soldier's clothes drenched in his cologne atop your miserable, teary, mess of a self. Sounds pretty terrible, but not to worry. That was sooo 2009. I will keep myself busy and besides, I only have 36 more days until Mr. Brett comes home. But who is counting.
  
• I am going to work out more. When I am all healed of course. I can't wait to run. I think it'll be very different, very pain free. I am so excited to walk long distances not feel compartmental pressure.
• I am going to be more aware of my image. I am... curvy. Is that that good word? Curvy? It sounds feminine so I like it. I am a beautiful woman. I am. (This one will be very hard.)
• I am going to wear lip stick. It doesn't have to be ruby red, but some lip color would be nice in my opinion. What say you?
• I am going to learn some recipes so Brett won't have to cook every night. This is going to keep me busy for 36 days. I am excited. Any suggestions?
• I'm going to paint again.
• I am going to dance with Brett. I don't know if this means we are going to go dancing somewhere or what. I haven't danced with him since our wedding. He is a very impressive dancer. Nice frame ;) Even a dance in the kitchen (corny but I really don't care what you think about this) would suffice.
• I'm going to call my family more. The distance has always been a factor, but um with the technology these days I have no excuse.
• I'm going to be more positive. No really, I am.
• I am going to watch my temper. I can let little things get to me. When I was in 7th grade my Health teacher said that counting to 3 while taking deep, slow breaths can change your whole day. It could be psychological but I think it really works. I'm wearing a hair band on my wrist to remind myself to be take deep breaths. Anytime I start to get worked up I will pull on the elastic band and let it snap down on my wrist. I think it's a little clever. We'll see if it works.
• I am going to be a better wife. This resolution I will not forget come March. I will be better here on out. Among learning how to cook, I am learning to be a wife. An Army wife at that.
  
• I will be a better daughter and sister. I don't write Luke as often as I should. He is doing well! The family got to talk to him on Christmas Eve. He is sounding more and more like an islander. It's so cool.
• I'm going to find a hobby

A lot of this is hard with limited mobility. Not only are crutches a factor, let alone not being able to walk on my right foot at all, I can't drive with my left foot. I tried once in high school. I almost died.

The Holidays were perfect. It was filled with AMAZING HUSBAND BEING HOME, an adorable nephew that I bonded with in the wee morning hours when he'd wake up, (I am sure he will remember those moments we shared together and I will be a favorite aunt) fantastic food, tons of family, treats and goodies, brother from thousands of miles away on a little island calling and sounding very alive and well, singing, pampering, cuddling, mistletoe, and I'll say it again BRETT! BRETT WAS HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!! It was perfect.