I'm tired of crutches. I am tired of my big black boot. I am tired of pain pills. But, at the same time I am grateful for crutches, my big black boot, and pain pills.
Today I've realized that I've put off a lot of things due to recovery. I think it's totally legit, but I hate being unorganized. So tonight I took all my mail and sorted it out and put in away in the files. It was mostly all notices from the hosbibull (hospital). Then I looked around the room and saw it was nothing but a mess. Christmas shopping doesn't have a dent in it. Money nonsense. I still need to clean my car. I miss Brett. 19 days until he comes home. Things were moving a million miles a minute in my head. Stress. Antsy. Anxious. I flopped on the bed and stared at the piles of clothes scattered across the room. I started contemplating tackling the mess tonight or just putting it off another day. A zing my foot jolted me forward. That zinger persuaded me to put it off another day... But I promised myself the fate of the mess would be terminated by the end of the week. I made up my mind about what everyone was getting for Christmas and I made a list. Lists are organized. I felt better.
I want to change the name of my blog. The intricacies of a frenzied woman has never turned me on. I am not intricate, nor am I frenzied... am I? Okay, yeah, I'm not. Every since I got a blog I've been trying to think of a new name. Nothing comes to mind.
I know I talk about Brett a lot... but here I go again.
It took me a while to get used to another 98 degree body sharing a bed with me. I'm still not used to sleeping alone. I usually put a pillow behind me. I remember laying awake bored out of my mind. "Babe, you awake?" I'd whisper. "Breeettt." I'd say it bit louder. "Brett!" I said just loud enough to wake him up. "Yeah. Are you okay?" He'd say sitting up. "Are you awake?" I'd say rolling over to face him. "I am now..." He'd would be slightly perturbed. "You wanna play battleship...?" I'd say ever so charmingly. After some eye rubbing and stretching he'd give into my batting eyes and irresistible smile. "One game." He'd whisper. I would jump out of bed and set up battle ship. Um, seriously. What an amazing husband. After our game I'd put all the pieces away and Brett would be asleep before I turned out the light. I crawled into bed and fluffed my pillow. He would scoot right up close to me and I'd sink into his chest. I have goosebumps just thinking about it. 19 days Rachel, 19 days. When I went to see Brett in October I was pretty quiet. I couldn't figure out why. I was so excited to wrap my arms around him and kiss him. But I was quiet. I realized that a lot of things happen to two different people while they are away. Ding, a light bulb above my head illuminated. We had to reconnect again. When he comes for Christmas we are supposed to do a lot of first date kind of things for the first couple days. Kinda cool huh? I'm thinking dinner and a little walk around temple square to look at the lights. Weather and leg/foot permitting. Romantic huh? My first word was "Wwwwwowww" looking at Christmas lights.
My hair is finally getting long. I miss my bangs. I don't want to go pay for someone to take five minutes cutting fresh bangs when I can just do it myself. I cut my hair in high school. I liked my hair in high school...
Brett's gift to me for Christmas are much needed two pairs of nice jeans. How thoughtful of him! I'm hopefully going shopping for jeans this week. And I'm going to knock out Christmas shopping while I'm out. It will be a nice treat to get some jeans.
4:07 AM this is ridiculous.
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